Let me say, a bit difficult for writing a Passacaglia.
Let me go ahead an say, Passacaglias tend to do better under 18th century counterpoint. Another thing that I've noticed is that the rhythm of the bass happened to kind of lead you into a bad setup. That bad setup led to more bad mistakes that could have been avoided by using counterpoint. You also did not have to do the bass alone initially (that's actually rare).
Good ambition and a good build, but simply the nonharmonic clashing kind of led this to something lacking.
This kind of brings me a peaceful feeling more than anything else - however, many parts were very hard to hear. There was also some progression, however, I found the song strophic with very little variation (you can still have the same thematic material throughout, you just need to make the strophic feel like it's not strophic if you know what I mean). Because it was so quiet, it is simply hard to tell what is going on, diminishing it's potential. This song has lots of potential, however, I feel that it was not capitalized on as much as it should have.
Overall a good attempt and correct notation with some of your flavor, however, there were parts where the mixing was flat out horrid in nature - notes being quieter than the should, &c. Also, some parts were rushed so much that it also caused those parts to fall apart (i.e. the ending) - I've actually listened to the original piece myself and studied it a bit, and also, there were parts where you would have actually wanted to take a larger risk by breaking normal dance instrumentation than keeping that same instrumentation.
Honestly, this would have naturally have been a longer song if taken at the correct tempo.
Let me go through and pick this one apart now...
Intro I (0:00 - 0:25) - don't know about the black tape initially, and a poorly mixed chordal end and a bad way to build the chord up one note at a time.
Intro II (0:25 - 0:58) - Coming off of that poor chordal cadence of the first intro, more bad mixing balance (I could hear static, which I find to be a problem when it get's to that point), you then clearly rush it in my opinion to where that part falls apart, again, double check that chordal buildup as well (again).
Intro III (0:58 - 2:19) - Begins too slow, drags in my opinion where it should not drag, poor balance of instruments again, then suddenly rushes so I'm confused...
Dance I (2:19 - 3:02)- rushed where it has that beautiful part where the top note drags down and there and below is the melodic line (2:41 - 2:48), not much to say about that else than that, again, double check your mixing as it transfers to Dance II.
Dance II (3:02 - 3:40)- poor balance throughout, dynamic problems plague that section.
Dance III (3:40 - 4:10)- some poor mixing near the end of that section, dynamic problems as well as emphasis problems, maybe more emphasis near the top notes than in other places... also careful with the transfer to Dance IV
Dance IV (4:10 - 4:55) - some poor mixing, but better dynamic use, also mixing problems occur where I have trouble picking out the chord at times...
Dance V (4:55 - 5:30) - really rushed one of the near ending harmonic sections, felt like it should have slowed down considerably at that chordal cadence, poor mixing at that point in the musick where it has just the pedal (4:55 - 4:58) (and more poor mixing throughout).
Dance VI (5:30 - 5:45) - Really poor mixing and note emphasis - sounds a lot like a broken stereo playing the correct notes but can't get the dynamics right...
Dance VII (5:45 - 6:07) - poor mixing throughout, and felt like you were rushing further than backing off the tempo, really that section before the outro should have slowed down for more contrast than for it to sound blurred, causing more trouble with the sound.
Outro (6:07 - 6:13) - Should have been way slower - it sounds like a blur, when I studied the original piece, to me it sounded like God himself intervened, I've always made connection with the Plagal cadence to that of the cadence of God (since those are found so often in the Amen ends of many church chorales).
Overall, I fell like that this was a poor execution of remixing a great song - it would be helpful to listeners if this was approached with clarity and not make some sections a blur and cause certain sections of the song to just flat out fall apart.
I agree with everything you say, I also think it is shit, i never put much into this myself and at the time I made it, I had no idea how to master or really do anything. My current stuff is much more up to date and better mixed/mastered if you would like to hear it my new name on newgrounds is bitfrost. Thanks for the detailed review, all i usually get is "i leik dis song lol!"
Really good until the ending.
Simply make sure you don't somehow cut it off until the actual song is through.
And has anyone found that it cut early yet?? I know there was more to it...
Interesting idea, very thought out. Well done.
Only thing I have to say is that some balancing should have been invested in, as some parts get too quiet at points and then you can't hear it.
Balance can mean everything...
Kind of interesting for a run, though yet it can also be a ton better.
Note that the balance between the parts is simply not there. I could not hear the rhythm guitars well nor could I hear the bass or the drums that well either.
What I did hear was the riffs simply not remaining catchy and simply did not quite get the pull (this part is only my opinion) that people should be expecting, and it might have looked good on paper, but then simply did not translate too well, which is what happened I think.
The riffs probably were, simply, quiet, if I had to guess?
I liked the flute intro however. That sounded nice, but it can ruin a song if a good pull cannot be achieved.
Clean it Up!
This is not how it exactly sounds. Your guitar needs to get a sound clean up with the clarity and effect.
This song is Epic in many senses. I think it will be used on a future date again, and EngagingDarkness, please don't use foul language, it is going to offend people even if you don't mean to use it in that manner, foul language is foul language. Nice Job, ArtificalFear
Excelent song! :)
This song is just awsome, I think it will be used in the near future. Good job. :)
I am going to challenge you to finish the cover by May 31 and have it posted. Keep it as accurate as possible, maybe I will accept a bass tone change but that is it. Notes must still be accurate. Nice work.
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